Monday, February 21, 2005


Mad dogs - old fashioned lover boys

Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy

I can dim the lights and sing you songs full of sad things
We can do the tango just for two
I can serenade and gently play on your heart strings
Be your valentino just for you

Ooh love - ooh loverboy
What're you doin' tonight, hey boy
Set my alarm, turn on my charm
That's because I'm a good old-fashioned lover boy

Ooh let me feel your heartbeat (Grow faster, faster)
Ooh ooh can you feel my love heat
Come on and sit on my hot-seat of love
And tell me how do you feel right after-all
I'd like for you and I to go romancing
Say the word - your wish is my command

Ooh love - ooh loverboy
What're you doin' tonight, hey boy
Write my letter
Feel much better
And use my fancy patter on the telephone

When I'm not with you
I think of you always
(I miss those long hot summer nights)
I miss you
When I'm not with you
Think of me always
Love you - love you

Hey boy where do you get it from
Hey boy where did you go ?
I learned my passion in the good old
Fashioned school of loverboys

Dining at the Ritz we'll meet at nine precisely
One two three four five six seven eight nine o' clock
I will pay the bill, you taste the wine
Driving back in style, in my saloon will do quite nicely
Just take me back to yours that will be fine (Come on and get it)

Ooh love, (There he goes again just like a good old-fashioned lover boy)
Ooh loverboy
What're you doin' tonight, hey boy
Everything's all right
Just hold on tight
That's because I'm a good old-fashioned fashioned lover boy

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Bugger!

It is 3am and I am still sitting here with little ramblings...but not random ones...no!
My mind knows what it wants and looks for it! Jumping from here to there and then back, the idea is to go beyond my fears. And my obsesions with fulfilment.
If it was enjoyable...then it was enough.




Your Dominant Intelligence is Interpersonal Intelligence



You shine in your ability to realate to and understand others.
Good at seeing others' points of view, you get how people think and feel.
You have an uncanny ability to sense true feelings, intentions, and motivations.
A natural born leader, you are great at teaching and mediating conflict.

You would make a good counselor, salesperson, politician, or business person.


Friday, February 11, 2005


Manyana sera otro dia

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Todo tiene un humor y un momento, lo dice la Biblia. Echale un ojo a Eclesiastes.
A veces me da por escribir en ingles, hoy quiero hacerlo en espanyol, ?cuando lo hare en aleman?
Pero lo cierto es que la vida es finita y eso es decir tambien que el dia tiene 24 horas y escribir no es todo en la vida.
Veran, soy nuevo en esto de los blogs. Y cuando algo nuevo me fascina...pues me he dado una vuelta en este mundo que algunos le llaman blogosfera. O sea que el pendejo de yo acabo mas leyendo que escribiendo. Bueno, tipico tambien de mi ser voyeurista. Pero todo tiene un limite.

Y por eso estoy escribiendo aqui, porque estoy intoxicado de tanto leer y de ver que empece todo esto "por la necesidad" de hablar, decir, comunicar, pensar, "de escribir", y "hacer contacto con otros" O sea que ya no me sirve solo escribir para mi mismo, porque mi interes principal es tener alguien que me escuche. Y aunque este espacio no garantiza para nada que tendre escuchas...ese es parte del encanto, nadie esta obligado a leerme y no estoy obligado a leer a nadie. Es justo como a veces quisiera tener sexo ;)

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Todo tiene un comienzo

Y yo, que no queria hacerlo, me veo inaugurando mi propia 69.G ?Con emisiones diarias? No lo se. Con música y variedad. Ya lo veremos.
No es fácil empezar a describir porque hago lo que hago. ¿Por qué estoy aquí y no estoy en la cama durmiendo? Es un instinto que me llama a poner estas ondas al aire y transmitir lo que pienso y lo que me pasa.
Todo sucedio y empezó cuando en la fiesta de la Melani empezamos a bailar, muy juntitos pero ella mas cerca de la Ana que de mí. Y me refriega que al final no estuvimos mas cerca que eso. Pero eso dio para que con la Mandy y el Cris nos pusieramos a platicar del seso, del seso que hay que ponerle al sexo, que no deberia de tener tanto pero si mas consciencia. Y es que a la Mandy le gusta el Cris, digo yo, pero que va! Nunca lo va a admitir. Tan abierta que se ve y tan cerrada de algunas partes. Por eso digo yo que deberiamos de bailar mas. No no hemos enseñado a tomarnos en serio al cuerpo. Tanto que tiempo que le destinamos pensando en el y mira! No lo conocemos!!!
Por eso hoy fui a bailar. Un chachacha, un jive y un tanguito, para seducir, para estar cerca de una mujer, de un cuerpo y sentirme mas vivo. Pero tambien para hablar con ellas. Hable con ella. Nunca Almodovar tuvo mas razón.
Me aloca poder contaros esto. Sin importarme si les importará me quiero destapar. Tantas veces he sido otro y ahora puedo ser lo que siempre soy. ¿Por que cuando nacemos y crecemos nos olvidamos de quienes somos? Todo por amor a lo que otros quieren que seamos. (O lo que yo quiero que otros quieren que yo sea)
Ven a la 69.G, tal vez podamos hablar de quienes somos.
¡Bienvenido!

A diary

I have been lucky, I have been writing and making contact.

And what this have reminded me is that, after all, this is what I was longing when writing my diaries 10 years ago. It is funny that every time that I was trying to write to myself I ended writing for "a probably reader in the future" Then I suppose that I wanted to be read. Yes, I wanted to speak.

And it is funny that this diary gives me opportunity to be read and to speak with others. A "degree of sensory interaction with the world" And I know, there is people who chooses, needs to write to themselves and maybe it has been circumstantial that they are doing it here. But others, (me!) cannot avoid to forget that there is a world there to interact with.

And maybe it is only circumstantial that the "etiquette" requires us to hide some particulars. Maybe it is better in that way. Maybe because it feels better to be what I am and not what I could pretend to be.

And I am seeing how this is not like a notice board or a chat. When I "logout" I am not doing it. My diary is still there, open. I lock it.

What does it feel to be oneself? Thanks to a Quetzal bird that on this moment is struggling with some one who wants to put her in a golden cage, I know it. It is like some others are. As I told her, it is that feeling of "I am not the only one, and then I can be different to what I fear" Sounds silly but after all and as she said...life goes on!



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Als das Kind Kind war,

genügten ihm als Nahrung Apfel, Brot,

und so ist es immer noch.

When the child was a child
apples and bread were enough for him.
And it is still that way.
Peter Handke

Monday, February 07, 2005

Yesterday

Yesterday my ex was at home! When she called me on Saturday the perspective to see her almost freaked me out.

Since we ended our relationship (both guided by the logic of three things (children, life styles and where to live in the future) it has been difficult to cop with keeping a relationship at all. Because she was suffering more than me she moved to another city some months ago...apart from the convenience of it for her new job.

But we were in a sort of calm mood and despite some moments of sadness, everything was flowing...I gave her some gifts that I bought for her during the January sales and she showed me the pictures of her last trip.

I confessed myself to her as vague, insecure and maybe a bit immature...but as much as she was. We were trapped in the happiness and excitement of living together and we easily fell in a childish attitude towards each other. In that way many problems were left unresolved. We lost the respect for each other in some degree. Our own demons, fears and ghosts from the past were gathering slowly while we just stood in front of them.

...

And breaking up hasn't removed all that crap that naturally inhabits my soul. I know that it has been years and years of learning (lifelong learning?) and reading some things I realize how difficult are to get rid of.

For example, reading at the entry of intelligentsia "Men are stooges" made me wondered how many times I have been passive-agressive. I know how easy is to develop anger and not express it, either with violence or talking about it. But I am learning, want to believe. Want to think that which doesn't kill me makes me stronger.

...

I love her and I like her...but that is not enough. And this can serve as an entry for last week's theme...love is not enough in a real world. Let me rephrase it. I need to live in a real world in order to have love. (Have you heard this: "Happiness is not to have what you want but to want what you have") I need to be happy with myself in order to love someone.

And I remember my last entry. Maybe because I am Saggitarius, maybe because of me, I am always at the seek of new experiences.

"Virgo and Sagittarius are like the grasshopper and the ant. Sagittarius's free spirit has nothing in common with hardworking Virgo. Sagittarius has a reckless gambler's spirit, while Virgo carefully builds for future security. Both are intellectual signs but the way their minds work clashes with each other. Sagittarius is expansive and extravagant, while Virgo prefers a simple, ordered, and unpretentious life. Sagittarius considers Virgo's sexual attitudes rather prudish, and won't stay long in one bedroom anyway."

But I don't want to fall in the sad sittuation stated on: "You are alone, you long for a partner. You have the partner. Then you want a lover. You got the lover! You start to thing in the Ferrari." (I wonder what "Ferrari" a woman would want.)

My human will is impelled by dreams, my soul learns to be happy. In this way my heart learns to love. My wisdom has to learn how to decide the best dreams, the best happiness, the best love.

That's why I started this diary, that's how I found this site...but that's another entry.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



The things at the margin.



And I have been stubborn for a couple of hours.



Ha! This reminds me of something...

President Kennedy made sense of it in 1962. Addressing a crowd at Rice University, he exclaimed, "We choose to go to the Moon! We choose to go to the Moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and our skills ... we do not know what benefits await us ... [but] space is there and we are going to climb it."

But everything has a limit...and there are better moons waiting for me. (Could that apply to other issues?)

Saturday, February 05, 2005

Allow me to introduce myself

It's funny how things start. No plan of writing but need to do it. In fact it is not the first time. When on my early twenties a diary was a must to find peace on my mind. The world was changing quickly and me with it. I was surrounded by people, ideas, happenings but also by fears. My own fears and my own questions.

And nothing has changed too much since then, ha, ha :) Let's say that know I know better how to deal with fears and questions. Ignorance is a source of fear. I don't feed my fears if I do question my fear...and getting anwsers becomes then the only task...to be affraid of :P

People have told me that I am far too complex, one day my dear counsellor cheer me up saying that rather than complicate I am...elaborate. Finally an ex has reassure me telling me that I might be a difficult person...but not impossible.

All that checks up with my horoscope, ha, ha :) Just look at what I have found!

Optimistic, Freedom-Loving, Jovial, Good-Humored, Honest, Straightforward, Intellectual and Philosophical
Blindly Optimistic, Careless, Irresponsible, Superficial, Tactless and Restless


While Sagittarians are the nomads of the Zodiac, they do not wander aimlessly. They are seekers of the truth and will go anywhere and talk to anyone for answers to their questions. Knowledge and wisdom drive them and provide the energy for their liberal approach to life. Sagittarians are drawn to the philosophical and spiritual because these subjects provide answers to the questions that burn inside them.
Sagittarians are the intellectuals of the Zodiac. They are lucid thinkers who appreciate others agreeing with their conclusions. Sometimes they are so confident their deductions are beyond dispute they become dogmatic and argumentative. Still, the Sagittarian quest for information drives them to listen to anyone and absorb what they find useful and quickly disregard the rest.

It is the nature of Sagittarians to roam freely. If they feel intellectually or physically restricted they may become bad-tempered very quickly. When Sagittarians are given the freedom they need they are kind, optimistic, lucky and not afraid of taking an occasional risk. They are also a charming lot who can be self-indulgent procrastinators. Overall, Sagittarians allowed the freedom they need are a delight to be around.

The Sagitarian In Love:
Sagittarians love any new form of sexual expression that challenges and excites them. Both tolerant and eager to please, their honesty can sometimes prove too much for those who prefer a more mysterious, or veiled approach to love.

Sagittarians are best involved with a steadier, stronger personality, who can understand their need for independence, yet still be there after an occasional flair of temper. Their frank and open motives are often misunderstood, threatening to more subdued signs.

Although they hate to be tied down, they are willing to experiment with all manner of relationship styles. As long as their partner is able to keep up with their wide-ranging interests and is prepared to come up with new experiments in lovemaking (and certainly does not mind them doing the same), their relationship will be exciting and reasonably long lasting. Mutual honesty is the key to success for the Sagittarian.

Famous Sagitarians Include:
Sir Winston Churchill, Ludwig van Beethoven, Mark Twain, Francis Albert Sinatra, Jim Morrison, Walt Disney, Dale Carnegie, Bruce Lee, Steven Spielberg , Phil Donahue, Jane Fonda, Uri Geller, and the Dali-Lama
Ideal Jobs Include:
Sagittarians are well-suited to careers as travel agents, explorers, professors, photographers, ambassadors, import-export traders and thrill-seekers.
Lucky Numbers:
9, 18, 27, 36, 45, 54
Planet: Jupiter
Star Stone: Topaz
Element: Fire


Most Compatible With: Aries or Leo
Find a compatibility match:


Eerrgh! I am working on that... :D

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