Friday, August 26, 2005

La Belle Dame sans merci

La mirada de ella es ciertamente hechizante. Pero yo recordaba a esa dama mirandome desde lo alto. Y esa diferencia me intrigaba. Como dices esa es la parte irracional que tiene el amor, el ansia por ajustar algo a tus deseos.
Y a mi en lo particular me pega esa sensacion de estar hechizado, hechizado
como lo puedes ver en la mirada del caballero de la foto de abajo...

Algo tiene el enamoramiento que nos lanza los brazos para atras y tal vez por eso es la version que mas me gusta. El esta cayendo, ?a donde? ...

al pasto...como nos explican aqui...

Y es que de ahi, a veces, no pasas...
Por eso, dejame intentar un boceto de lo que serian mis pensamientos, en el caso del caballero, al descubrirme abandonado,
sin piedad...

Digamos que el viento sopla y con el
empiezo a escuchar unas palabras y una musica...


"Asi es la vida de caprichosa
a veces negra, a veces color rosa
Asi es la vida jacarandosa
Te quita te pone te sube te baja
y a veces te lo da"

Y empiezo a pensar que a veces la vida te da esa claridad para darte cuenta que has estado viviendo como un idiota y te has preocupado por cosas sin sentido.

Y que coraje da! ?Porque tenia yo que haber sufrido tanto? Tan facil que es decir "Nada es tuyo, nada es mio y como compartimos los amigos, como repartimos los recuerdos de este amor" No importa cuanto haya durado. Un dia, dos anyos, una mirada. Yo te encuentro, tu me encuentras y tal vez porque tu estas ovulando y yo estoy que me hago, y no exactamente de miados, te sigo recordando. O tal vez no fue la quimica la que nos traiciono sino ese tono de voz que empleaste para hablarme y ese detalle que tuve contigo.

Y a veces tu ya tienes otro y yo ya tengo otra. O los dos no tenemos a nadie, I feel so lonely, I'm waiting for you
But nothing ever happens, and I wonder I wonder how, I wonder why
Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue blue sky
y lo unico que pude ver es que, a igual que a Narciso, nos puede ocurrir que Eco nos saque de nuestro ensimismamiento. Pero ?que son las palabras de Eco sino nuestras propias palabras reflejadas? Hace falta ver a Eco como quien es, no como quien dice ser. ?Pero alguien tiene la paciencia que Narciso no tuvo?

Y asi, me empezaria a reir y con el cielo ya oscuro, pero con estrellas, me quedaria dormido hasta el siguiente dia, arrullandome, moviendo los hombros y sintiendo la sabrosura de un merengue...

"Cuando tu me besas
me siento en el aire
por eso cuando te veo
comienzo a besarte
Y si te despegas yo me despierto
de ese rico sueño que me dan tus besos


"Besame suavecito,
sin prisa y con calma
Dame un beso bien profundo
que me llegue al alma
Dame un beso mas que en mi boca cabe
Dame un beso despacito
dame un beso suave

"Suave, Tus labios tienen
Suave, Ese secreto
Suave, yo beso y beso
Suave, y no lo encuentro
Suave, un beso suave
Suave, es lo que anhelo
Suave, un beso tuyo
Suave, es lo que quiero"

Ay! Y el nuevo dia me encuentra, en el museo de la ciudad de Bristol, viendo, con total felicidad, al original de la pintura de Dicksee, no la de Waterhouse.

La bella dama sin piedad...



Como dijo un dia una amiga:

> 1. Si te guias estrictamente por la imagen pues efectivamente ella esta a
> sus pies (esto es broma, of course).
>
> 2. Creo que esto de la dama sin piedad viene porque el quedo cautivado
> por ella y no pudo darle el beso que tanto deseaba, pues se murio antes.
> Por eso creo que habla de la falta de piedad, seguramente el sentimiento
> de perdida, de nostalgia, de ausencia fue muy profundo, podria decir que
> inolvidable.
>
> 3. Ahora bien, posiblemente ella sabia que estaba muriendo y lo unico que
> le pedia era que la llevara a su gruta. Otro motivo para la falta de
> piedad, lo enamoro sabiendo que moriria, auqnue esto tal vez son
> atribuciones mias, pues no quedan muy claros los sentimientos de ella.
>
> Estan bonitos tanto la imagen como el poema, sobre todo este ultimo, me
> parece muy profundo y tal vez refleja la clase de amor con la que
> siempre uno suenia: profundo, absorto, incondicional, alejado de todo,
> aunque la realidad puede ser diferente, como lo fue para el. Y no estoy
> hablando de desamor, sino que para mi el amor tambien tiene que ser
> racional y no solo emocional, pero no por ello uno deja de tener sus
> fantasias, no?

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Evident by nature



These days I have discovered what is evident by nature but hidden by fate. I am realizing that friendship is something that only comes with time and requires a continuous feedback. Like a flower in a pot it needs to be watered.

I may have the usual custom to call people I only have met some days ago friends. It is a polite custom and I don’t regret it. But sometimes I need a distinction.

All our relationships start in the same way, I would say. You hardly know someone and a common interest brings this person and you together. Expectations are created and they are not always the same.

Example: She, who has a boyfriend, meets this guy who is single. Both like each other. Months later she thinks about him as a nice, smart, charming friend and, by the way, she is nice, smart and charming. Because of these three virtues of her one night he tells her by email (technology has changed old rituals…for bad?) he has fallen in love for her. She feels and says thank you but “let’s be only friends”

But inside my friend (she) there is also the feeling of a “spoiled friendship” with this guy. But I ask her if that was really a friendship. I mean, she is using the polite way to name a new relationship with someone, doesn’t she? In my opinion there is nothing spoiled on their relationship. There are only different expectations that they should be aware of. She is expecting a new friendship since the beginning. But is that what he was expecting?

Humans I want to believe feel attracted naturally by other humans. If a human is single, that attraction always means the possibility to form a partnership, to fall in love. So he, the acquaintance of my friend had different expectations growing than her. Of course, the fact that my friend has a boyfriend for some people may be a reason to limit and control his expectations. But that is not always true. Then, he only reveals his long time growing feelings when my friend’s boyfriend leaves for a long trip.

Attractions. There are different levels of attractions. There are attractions by sight, by smell, (by touch?) by getting to know someone better and better and like them better and better every day. The more instinctive attractions determine “one night stands” and affairs, the more rational ones determine partners and spouses. Am I right if I think that a good combination of both will bring a happy long lasting partnership?

There have been periods of my life when either the instinctive attractions or the rational ones have driven my amorous life. There have been only a few occasions where I have experienced a good balance of both of them and have been corresponded. Unfortunately not enough balanced as to last up to now.

This is my epiphany, pour innocent me. An affair lasts what our rush of chemicals in the body last. A future friendship or partnership, to start with, takes time to take off. Not being able to see this clearly has caused me some confusion, some rush in my partnerships and some anxiety for not finding “the right woman”

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Virtual...insanity

Oh! How much I would wish you were listening to what I am... dancing now!... turn in your chair...wave your body and arms because this is...

Virtual insanity....Jamiroquai



Oh yeah, what we're living in (let me tell ya)
It's a wonder man can eat at all
When things are big that should be small
Who can tell what magic spells we'll be doing for us
And I'm giving all my love to this world
Only to be told
I can't see
I can't breathe
No more will we be
And nothing's going to change the way we live
Cos' we can always take but never give
And now that things are changing for the worse,
See, its a crazy world we're living in
And I just can't see that half of us immersed in sin
Is all we have to give these -

Futures made of virtual insanity now
Always seem to, be govern'd by this love we have
For useless, twisting, our new technology
Oh, now there is no sound - for we all live underground

And I'm thinking what a mess we're in
Hard to know where to begin
If I could slip the sickly ties that earthly man has made
And now every mother, can choose the colour
Of her child
That's not nature's way
Well that's what they said yesterday
There's nothing left to do but pray
I think it's time I found a new religion
Waoh - it's so insane
To synthesize another strain
There's something in these
Futures that we have to be told.

Futures made of virtual insanity - now
Always seem to, be govern'd by this love we have
For useless, twisting, our new technology
Oh, now there is no sound - for we all live underground

Now there is no sound
If we all live underground
And now it's virtual insanity
Forget your virtual reality
Oh, there's nothing so bad.
I know yeah

Of this virtual insanity, we're livin in.
Has got to change, yeah
Things, will never be the same.
And I can't go on
While we're livin' in oh, oh virtual insanity
Oh, this world, has got to change
Cos I just, I just can't keep going on, it was virtual.
Virtual insanity that we're livin' in, that we're livin' in
That virtual insanity is what it is

Futures made of virtual insanity - now
Always seem to, be govern'd by this love we have
For useless, twisting, our new technology
Oh, now there is no sound - for we all live underground

Living - Virtual Insanity
Living - Virtual Insanity
Living - Virtual Insanity
Living - Virtual Insanity

Virtual Insanity is what we're living in

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