Waking up

Last night I had a dream where I saw myself as a child, waking up in the morning, standing on the bed and stretching my arms up and wide.

I thank my mind for the reminder!

Bristol again

I am back for a short time in Bristol realizing that I feel here very much at home. This is not surprising after living here for four years. The ex-housemates are lovely and nothing seems to have changed a lot so far. Somehow I liked it this way.

I came back quickly and with a very limited amount of time to sort out some things from the past. Probably you have noticed that I have been thinking of my karma lately ;-)

Precisely and talking about karma I have an anecdote from my arrival to Heathrow. I found myself in the corresponding tube station queuing along a crowd of people. At some point I got distracted and when I payed attention again a tall guy was standing in front-besides me (it was the turn of the queue). I made him notice that I was standing (at least) in front of him before as I didn't remember seeing him when I started queuing. He said "yes, you were in front of me" but he didn't move a bit! =)

The corresponding tension was kept all the way until he helped the people in front of me (us) with the automatized ticket machine. From his heights he had a clear view of the situation. I thought that he could be not as an assh... as I suspected as he kindly gave help.

Eventually I got in front of him to the ticket machine, same machine that didn't take my card and left me with the decision of queuing again or ask for... for help to the tall guy. I had a fiver (five pounds note) and the resting 1.70 was somewhere in my luggage. He didn't want to lend me 1.70 pounds that I promised to give back as soon as we have got out of the queue.

Instead, he paid with his card the whole amount of my day travel card and didn't accept my money, saying goodbye with a "have a nice day". If I am learning well, the best thing at the end of our life is to have paid all our karma. I am very thankful with him for showing me another face of life in a crowded big London area.

Dispelling illusions on the path

"People starting on the spiritual path often think it is full of silence, light and Om sounds, but it's a CRASH! Mental and emotional turbulence is not unusual on the spiritual path... It is a working through of our conditioning. It is a turbulent thing, it has to be. We're on this human plane, learning about being human...

"It is difficult when you have an idea that spiritual life and daily life are separate. What does it mean for you to lead a spiritual life? You have to be realistic.

"People play games to get what they want on the spiritual path. Why? Because they are not committed to the Light and they are not serious about finding out who they really are. There are many games:

• The honesty game. You play at being honest, so honest that you're spectacularly honest. You can admit anything. Next week you can admit something else. The "honesty" becomes a substitute for change.
• The child game. Acting like you can't do anything for yourself, that you are "spiritually helpless."
• The humility game. You act very humble. Behind these actions there is a strong desire to be recognized as humble.
• The justification game. Everything that you do has an excellent reason (for being done), so there is no room for the light to come in. There's no room for anything to come in. The rational mind takes over, figuring everything out and making it tidy.
• The holy one game. Where you show all the actions and words of being holy, but there is no generosity or consideration, only the appearance of holiness.
• The pseudo spiritual language game. Using words like "transcendence," "cosmic vision" or "one with the universe." The words are a facade when people don't want to look at themselves; the language loses its meaning.
• The spiritual partner game. Using your partner as an excuse to not go forward with your own evolution. You "wait" and "support" the other so you can both go together. Nothing happens. Neither goes anywhere. What are you supporting?
• The dream lover game. People often come to spiritual life looking for emotional gratificationa "dream lover" or "soulmate." If you are not looking for your own soul, what then is the purpose of a spiritual path?

"One thing for certain, the Light brings pressure. You might have the expectation that when you get to that point of being lighter, life will be easier. But the Light is bound to bring pressure. That's its job. Your faith will be tested. You may get into a painful situation or get despondent or depressed. Light will pressure you to question your life, your actions and what has brought you to this point. If you cooperate with the Light, it will give you the ability to see through your illusions.

"If you don't cooperate with your own evolution, or ignore the Light, things become worse. Look at your everyday situation. Is there tension, disagreement, conflict? The Light wants something changed so it will create this dissonance. This isn't a bad thing; it creates awareness that something has to be addressed. Will you just let it go, avoid the situation? Would that be compassionate?

"Compassion isn't "niceness." It can be fierce. The most compassionate action is to break the cycle of illusion. Illusions are built from unrealistic expectations. They create a sense of a false reality. That's the thing with the Light, it keeps breaking the pots. Krishna breaks the pots and keeps things moving, so your life doesn't become a museum...

"Can you see what really is and not just what you want to see?"

"Reality is always better than an illusion."

Extracts from the article:
Dispelling illusions on the path by swami radhananda

Tara

There is an image of Tara in my room. How it ended hanging on a wall is a simple story: My landlady was cleaning the unoccupied room besides mine and I spotted the image. I asked her if she is a Buddhist and she responded 'sort of '. She then offered the image for the naked walls of my new room. Later, I would find out that the house were we live serves also as a yoga center for a spiritual community based in British Columbia (the province to the west of Edmonton and where Vancouver is).

The inspiration for this community can be traced to the person of Swami Sivananda. A woman from the west, who was his disciple, brought to Canada his teachings and put on them a special emphasis in the feminine spirit. I see this specially relevant as it happened in 1956. A "spiritual feminism" imported from India may not sound strange for the 70s or even the 60s, but for the 50s I suppose she was a pioneer in a world that was asking for changes.

Changes are either radical or require, like I see in this case, a syncretism, an open and eclectic mind that mixes the old way of thinking with new ways. Finding myself living in a Yoga centre was motivation enough to participate in the activities. I have seen in those activities the mixture of the Christian tradition with Hinduism and Buddhism and this suited me perfectly. I have wondered before if Christ was a Buddhist himself and I have been increasingly interested in Buddhism.

In Buddhism, Buddha is not seen as a god detached from this world and humans. In a sense, God, the Light, the Highest is everything and a Buddha is a human being who has become aware and part of that totality. The experience of concepts like ego grasping, duality, and delusion is a barrier in our life for the achievement of that awareness. To overcome that barrier is not an easy goal to achieve. I'm happy that I found this house and people in Edmonton. Together with the people and good friends that I have found in the past, they make feel this samsara like a better one.

"We are living in a realm of desire"

"Because our eyes, ears, nose, and so forth are the very gateways of desire, those wishing to break free and achieve liberation from this circle of suffering are encouraged to become especially distrustful of the five physical senses...

"When following this type of training we combat the tendency of running blindly after objects of attachment, and thereby falling victim to pain and disappointment, by teaching ourselves to focus on those aspects of the object that will reduce our desire for it. For instance, we can neutralize our longing for a beautiful person by concentrating on the unclean parts of his or her body... =)

"Compared to a system like tantra, which actually uses the energy of desire, this cautious approach to the spiritual path is considered inferior. But this is not to say that such an approach has no value...

"Tantra's approach is very different. Instead of viewing pleasure and desire as something to be avoided at all costs, tantra recognizes the powerful energy aroused by our desires to be an indispensable resource for the spiritual path. Because the goal is nothing less than the realization of our highest human potential, tantra seeks to transform every experience - no matter how "unreligious " it may appear- into the path of fulfillment. It is precisely because our present life is so inseparably linked with desire that we must make use of desire's tremendous energy if we wish to transform our life into something trascendental.

"Thus the logic of tantra is really very simple: our experience of ordinary pleasure can be used as the resource for attaining the supremely pleasurable experience of totality, or enlightenment... According to tantra, we cannot hope to attain our goal of universal and complete happiness by systematically making ourselves more and more miserable. This is contrary to the way things actually work. It is only by cultivating small experiences of calm and satisfaction now that we will be able to achieve our ultimate goal of peace and tranquility in the future. And similarly, it is only through the skillful use of desirous energy and by building up the habit of experiencing what we might call true pleasure that we can hope to achieve the everlasting bliss and joy of full illumination."