At the end of my teenage I was moved by this part of Oscar Wilde's Ballad of Reading Gaol:
Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard,
Some do it with a bitter look,
Some with a flattering word,
The coward does it with a kiss,
The brave man with a sword!
Some kill their love when they are young,
And some when they are old;
Some strangle with the hands of Lust,
Some with the hands of Gold:
The kindest use a knife, because
The dead so soon grow cold.
Some love too little, some too long,
Some sell, and others buy;
Some do the deed with many tears,
And some without a sigh:
For each man kills the thing he loves,
Yet each man does not die.
The prison (or gaol) still exists and the poem was inspired by Charles Thomas Wooldridge, Trooper of Royal Horse Guards who was executed on 7 July 1896 for the murder of his wife and I would say by Wilde's own feelings of betrayal from his former lover. Feelings that he poured out in his long, long letter De profundis.
In November 2005 I remembered Oscar Wilde writings after experiencing a broken heart.
But that experience, that encounter, taught me that she was not the one to blame but my own expectations. At the end of De profundis, Oscar Wilde realizes how much he is to be blamed for his misfortune. Later I would put in words my own realizations here helped by other books and movies. A final conclusion of what I mean with saying that love is the journey not the destination came in another post.
Last week I received this quotation. It summarizes what I have learned since that night of November 2005:
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a
need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty,
to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally
or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there
for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your
part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to
bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk
away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must
realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is
done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has
come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make
you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually
give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must
build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to
accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in
all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is
blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life,
whether you are a reason, a season or a lifetime.