Bristol again

I am back for a short time in Bristol realizing that I feel here very much at home. This is not surprising after living here for four years. The ex-housemates are lovely and nothing seems to have changed a lot so far. Somehow I liked it this way.

I came back quickly and with a very limited amount of time to sort out some things from the past. Probably you have noticed that I have been thinking of my karma lately ;-)

Precisely and talking about karma I have an anecdote from my arrival to Heathrow. I found myself in the corresponding tube station queuing along a crowd of people. At some point I got distracted and when I payed attention again a tall guy was standing in front-besides me (it was the turn of the queue). I made him notice that I was standing (at least) in front of him before as I didn't remember seeing him when I started queuing. He said "yes, you were in front of me" but he didn't move a bit! =)

The corresponding tension was kept all the way until he helped the people in front of me (us) with the automatized ticket machine. From his heights he had a clear view of the situation. I thought that he could be not as an assh... as I suspected as he kindly gave help.

Eventually I got in front of him to the ticket machine, same machine that didn't take my card and left me with the decision of queuing again or ask for... for help to the tall guy. I had a fiver (five pounds note) and the resting 1.70 was somewhere in my luggage. He didn't want to lend me 1.70 pounds that I promised to give back as soon as we have got out of the queue.

Instead, he paid with his card the whole amount of my day travel card and didn't accept my money, saying goodbye with a "have a nice day". If I am learning well, the best thing at the end of our life is to have paid all our karma. I am very thankful with him for showing me another face of life in a crowded big London area.

Dispelling illusions on the path

"People starting on the spiritual path often think it is full of silence, light and Om sounds, but it's a CRASH! Mental and emotional turbulence is not unusual on the spiritual path... It is a working through of our conditioning. It is a turbulent thing, it has to be. We're on this human plane, learning about being human...

"It is difficult when you have an idea that spiritual life and daily life are separate. What does it mean for you to lead a spiritual life? You have to be realistic.

"People play games to get what they want on the spiritual path. Why? Because they are not committed to the Light and they are not serious about finding out who they really are. There are many games:

• The honesty game. You play at being honest, so honest that you're spectacularly honest. You can admit anything. Next week you can admit something else. The "honesty" becomes a substitute for change.
• The child game. Acting like you can't do anything for yourself, that you are "spiritually helpless."
• The humility game. You act very humble. Behind these actions there is a strong desire to be recognized as humble.
• The justification game. Everything that you do has an excellent reason (for being done), so there is no room for the light to come in. There's no room for anything to come in. The rational mind takes over, figuring everything out and making it tidy.
• The holy one game. Where you show all the actions and words of being holy, but there is no generosity or consideration, only the appearance of holiness.
• The pseudo spiritual language game. Using words like "transcendence," "cosmic vision" or "one with the universe." The words are a facade when people don't want to look at themselves; the language loses its meaning.
• The spiritual partner game. Using your partner as an excuse to not go forward with your own evolution. You "wait" and "support" the other so you can both go together. Nothing happens. Neither goes anywhere. What are you supporting?
• The dream lover game. People often come to spiritual life looking for emotional gratificationa "dream lover" or "soulmate." If you are not looking for your own soul, what then is the purpose of a spiritual path?

"One thing for certain, the Light brings pressure. You might have the expectation that when you get to that point of being lighter, life will be easier. But the Light is bound to bring pressure. That's its job. Your faith will be tested. You may get into a painful situation or get despondent or depressed. Light will pressure you to question your life, your actions and what has brought you to this point. If you cooperate with the Light, it will give you the ability to see through your illusions.

"If you don't cooperate with your own evolution, or ignore the Light, things become worse. Look at your everyday situation. Is there tension, disagreement, conflict? The Light wants something changed so it will create this dissonance. This isn't a bad thing; it creates awareness that something has to be addressed. Will you just let it go, avoid the situation? Would that be compassionate?

"Compassion isn't "niceness." It can be fierce. The most compassionate action is to break the cycle of illusion. Illusions are built from unrealistic expectations. They create a sense of a false reality. That's the thing with the Light, it keeps breaking the pots. Krishna breaks the pots and keeps things moving, so your life doesn't become a museum...

"Can you see what really is and not just what you want to see?"

"Reality is always better than an illusion."

Extracts from the article:
Dispelling illusions on the path by swami radhananda

Not another Sunday

So here I am this Sunday praising internet for what it has given us. This means praising YOU, the people who makes this wonder to shine. (I know I am not being original, Time magazine said it first)

Precisely the Bloggies 2007, let's say the Oscars for blogs, are open now to vote for the best of 2006. I am glad to see that one of my favourites, the Postsecret blog has been nominated in different categories.

The web is full of stuff but still can contain the most simple thing, in the form of a rude postcard (you have been warned), to be the expression of a many times misunderstood feeling =) By the way, if you clicked the link and before you start arguing that this is a very unique men "doing", check the Girl with a one-track mind blog out.

"An incomplete education"

Libros, books, poemas!!: "An incomplete education"

"...taken to imply that you'll never entirely understand yourself..."

Tara

There is an image of Tara in my room. How it ended hanging on a wall is a simple story: My landlady was cleaning the unoccupied room besides mine and I spotted the image. I asked her if she is a Buddhist and she responded 'sort of '. She then offered the image for the naked walls of my new room. Later, I would find out that the house were we live serves also as a yoga center for a spiritual community based in British Columbia (the province to the west of Edmonton and where Vancouver is).

The inspiration for this community can be traced to the person of Swami Sivananda. A woman from the west, who was his disciple, brought to Canada his teachings and put on them a special emphasis in the feminine spirit. I see this specially relevant as it happened in 1956. A "spiritual feminism" imported from India may not sound strange for the 70s or even the 60s, but for the 50s I suppose she was a pioneer in a world that was asking for changes.

Changes are either radical or require, like I see in this case, a syncretism, an open and eclectic mind that mixes the old way of thinking with new ways. Finding myself living in a Yoga centre was motivation enough to participate in the activities. I have seen in those activities the mixture of the Christian tradition with Hinduism and Buddhism and this suited me perfectly. I have wondered before if Christ was a Buddhist himself and I have been increasingly interested in Buddhism.

In Buddhism, Buddha is not seen as a god detached from this world and humans. In a sense, God, the Light, the Highest is everything and a Buddha is a human being who has become aware and part of that totality. The experience of concepts like ego grasping, duality, and delusion is a barrier in our life for the achievement of that awareness. To overcome that barrier is not an easy goal to achieve. I'm happy that I found this house and people in Edmonton. Together with the people and good friends that I have found in the past, they make feel this samsara like a better one.

Blizzard

In UK you hear about blazes here in Edmonton, Canada is more common to hear about blizzards.

A blizzard is a blizzard but nothing like the first one in your life. In other words, I am thinking that surprises can come with the apparently insignificant and common things of everyday life.

"Cada quien habla de la feria como le va en ella" (each ones opinion about the funfair is in direct proportion to the kind of experiences that you have on it) is a Mexican say that expresses that, what can be a hell for someone, is a heaven for someone else. This is either because the experiences are different or because the same experience is seen from a different perspective.

From my part I am happy to see that a bus driver waits for you if they see you running to the bus stop. Then it is not wonder for me why those drivers that have the same schedule every day, make acquaintances and friends from their regular users.

Here in Edmonton cents are to take and to leave . There is usual to have on the counter of a shop a container where people can leave their cents. Is that for a charity? No. If you have to pay $1.03, the cashier will take those 3 cents from the container and accept one dollar from you. For this to work you have to leave there or in a similar container somewhere else, those cents that make your pocket bulky. "Take a penny, leave a penny". (As a subject besides but talking about money, yes, Elizabeth II appears in coins and notes and her portrait ages =)

The F word is an old folk in these parts of the world and I don't mean only the streets. Not that my colleges and I are extensively users of it but you hear it in the TV, in the radio, read it in the newspapers and nobody seams to blink an eye. Still someone may have the politeness to write: "However, if I may be so bold as to speak candidly, where the fuck is this money going to come from?".

Jaywalking or crossing a street not using the designated areas for that (e.g. crossing in the middle of the block instead of the corner) is an unknown concept in UK as it is common place to cross a road wherever convenient. In Edmonton, apart from being illegal, in some cases the police have taken it seriously.

A news writer shared her impressions about her moving from Toronto to Alberta and ended them saying: "Holy Mother, it’s unbelievably cold! Dry cold or not, it’s much, much worse than Ontario. And I’ve never seen so much snow in my life. But still, people wear running shoes! In Toronto, we’d have called in the army long ago. Edmontonians, you’re a tough bunch."

Edmonton in the cold III

Back in the hotel, with the refreshing feeling of having been able to come back with two hands working, I realized another fundamental mistake. I was walking west, towards the forest and the river, instead of south. Days later, during the Departmental Christmas dinner, I will make people at my table laugh with this story. Not only because of my mistake but because I was not the first one to make it! The great majority of the streets in Edmonton have numbers, no names and more precisely speaking there are streets and there are avenues. Streets run south and north, increasing their number to the west. Avenues run east and west, increasing their numbers to the north. At the moment of realizing my mistake I confessed it while phoning to the guy who was waiting for my visit. It may be that my explanation of why I have had not arrived at his place was reasonable enough because he offered to me to pick me up at the hotel in his car and take me back. "Canadians are friendly" I have heard other people telling me. The gesture of that guy was really a good example of it and one of many other examples of friendliness that I will come to find in my later experiences.

But, as much as the guy was friendly and he only asked 280 CAN per month, the lack of furniture in the room gave me the illustrative experience that I was talking about before. I agree that a cold floor and an empty room is better than nothing but I wanted to try my luck before taking on them. The next day I changed my search to the more obvious strategy of looking at recently posted advertisements. Fortunately, I had a couple of places more to visit and the question was again "how to decide which option?"

At the end I discovered that there was a simple answer to that question. I have noticed that the prices of a comfortable accommodation were fluctuating between 400 and 600 CAN dollars, including or not including bills and services depending
on the case. (That of course, without having to share with more than one person the house or apartment.) The focus of my decision was more in where and with who I was going to live with. Therefore, I can summarize now my experience of finding accommodation in Edmonton in the following way: all depended in how comfortable I felt when I visited the place I am living now in.

Yes, it is a basement suit, but under a Yoga-Buddhist-Christian centre. =) More about this, later.

Edmonton in the cold II

Snow
originally uploaded by Neil Carey.

At -30 C, things outside your common experience start to happen. The steam from your breath freezes in the lens of the spectacles if you happen to use ones. Your hands hurts without gloves and once cold they don't warm up quickly in the gloves, actually you just feel that the blood is stuck there. I happen to use spectacles and the diver's trick of using saliva helped a bit. But why on earth I had to remove my gloves? Of course I didn't want to scratch the lenses when applying the saliva but oh yes, there is another reason why I removed the gloves. To better manipulate the map as I was lost. Without proper light to see the map, not a soul at 8pm walking in the street to whom ask for directions and the funny feeling in my hand increasingly calling my attention, I came to the delirium, I mean conclusion, that something have had to be mad. Either the numbering of the streets or me walking in an area that was increasingly dense in threes instead of houses. It was then when I decided to go back to the hotel. =) If the insanity of the streets numbering or of my mind was serious enough as to stop me finding quickly the way back, that was something that I would have to discover. Fortunately, my concern was distracted by the sight of a rabbit crossing in front of me as I walked. The fluffy rabbit didn't seem to mind the temperature or it was crazier than me. Perhaps more the former than the latter as I bump not longer later with a woman shoveling the snow in front of her house.

To be continued...